2011年4月27日 星期三
Comparing 2
Great man usually had same contribution in their life. They were do something meaningful or some revolution. Take John Adams and Thomas Jefferson for example, John and Thomas were important person in the American Revolution. They both hoped to make the U.S. become independence.John delegated to the Continental Congress. Similarity, Thomas delegated to the Continental Congress. John was the singer of Declaration and so did Thomas. Both John and Thomas studied and practiced law. It made good foundation for them to become the president of U.S. The most important of all, they both set up the excellent model for generations. Moreover, their sprite will live on forever.
訂閱：
張貼留言 (Atom)
They were do something meaningful or some revolution.-->They did something~~
回覆刪除person--> persons
John was the singer of Declaration and so did Thomas.-->so was
我覺得還不錯耶
Great man usually had same contribution in their life.
回覆刪除>>>Great "men" usually had the same contribution in their life.
單複數記得標清楚喔
They were do something meaningful or some evolution.
>>>They did something meaningful or some evolution.
一段句子不可出現兩個動詞
Take John Adams and Thomas Jefferson for example,
>>>這是祈使句人稱會不一致
>>>Taking John Adams and Thomas Jefferson for example,
They both hoped to make the U.S. become independence.
>>>They both hoped to make the U.S. become an independent country.
John delegated to the Continental Congress.
Similarity, Thomas delegated to the Continental Congress.
>>>delegate為名詞喔
John was the singer of Declaration and so did Thomas.
>>>John was the singer of Declaration and so was Thomas.
It made "a" good foundation for them to become the president of U.S.
:)
Take John Adams and Thomas Jefferson for example, John and Thomas were important person in the American Revolution.=>~example, they were important person in the American Revolution.
回覆刪除They both hoped to make the U.S. become independence.=>Both of them hoped to make the U.S. become more independence than ever before.
John was the singer of Declaration and so did Thomas. =>~so was Thomas
It made good foundation for them to become the president of U.S. =>As a result, they had already made preparation to become the president of U.S.
寫得不錯喔~~~
Great man usually had same contribution in their life. man要改men喔~還有had-->have
回覆刪除They were do something meaningful or some revolution. 改成They did something~~
因為如果用were的話後面要改doing喔~
John and Thomas were important person .person要+s喔!
John delegated to the Continental Congress.
delegate是名詞喔!所以要改成john was the delegate ~~
had same contribution in their life
回覆刪除//have made some great contribution to their lives.
independence.後面要記得加空格
John delegated to;Thomas delegated to // John/Thomas was delegated to
John was the singer // singer是歌手欸:)) -> signer
so did Thomas// so was Thomas
Both John and Thomas studied and practiced law. It made good foundation for them to become the president of U.S.
//Both John and Thomas studied and practiced law, which laid a good foundation for them to become the president of U.S.
這篇不錯唷:)
→men →contribution(contributions可數嗎) →lives 複數唷~
回覆刪除They all did something meaningful and some revolution(revolutions可數嗎?).
→Take John Adams and Thomas Jefferson for example, they(因前面已經有提到所以要用代n) were both important people〃 in the American Revolution.
你兩篇的開頭跟結尾都讓我覺得好棒欸!!
很吸引我~ ≧▽≦!!
第一行 They were do something meaningful or some revolution. do是動詞 要改成they did something...
回覆刪除最後一行 their sprite will live on forever.
sprite? 精靈? 你應該是想寫精神 spirit吧 XDD
這篇寫得不錯阿~~~