2011年4月20日 星期三
My Favorite Holiday
Chinese New Year is the most important holiday to Chinese people. Everyone in my country are except for this holiday. There are some reasons why we feel joyful in this special holiday. First, we can meet all of our family members on the big dinner which celebrates this holiday. Due to the custom everyone should have a reunion in this special day. Second, we can travel during these wonderful holiday because there are a lot of benefits which provide by theme parks during those days. Third, we can get some blessing from our elderly family members which can bless us for a whole year. Then, we can take a break and relax from our busy days. This traditional holiday is very meaningful for Chinese people. In addition, we can learn a lot from it, so Chinese New Year is my favorite holiday.
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第二行的expect不是這樣用喔
回覆刪除expect可以做懷孕的意思
"期待" 用更好的片語可以用喔 (look forward to)
big dinner 建議改成 reunion meal
倒數第五行provide少一個d喔
因為你後面有by
blessing是可數的
不過這泛指上帝的恩賜
倒數第三行不是from吧
這樣感覺很奇怪
而且from our busy days
感覺這句是中文直接翻的唷
惠芳好棒~~
文章進步很多哦
整篇還蠻通順的^_^
are expect for 沒有這種用法喔
回覆刪除要用looking forward to
because there are a lot of benefits which provide by theme parks during those days
- because there are a lot of benefits provided by theme parks during those days
First, we can meet all of our family members on the big dinner which celebrates this holiday.
回覆刪除可改成First, we can meet all of our family members on the reunion meal in order to celebrate this holiday.
Second, we can travel during these wonderful holiday because there are a lot of benefits which provide by theme parks during those days
你的holiday如果只的是複數就要變成holidays
不過前面說的都是單數,突然變複數會怪怪的唷,不然就是全部改複數
In addition, we can learn a lot from it,
這句應該提一下學到什麼~
還不錯唷~只是列點的時候如果可以用first of all.moreover.additionally.finally之類看起來比較難的詞會提升整篇文章的感覺
第二行Everyone in my country are except for this holiday.
回覆刪除except是除了...之外 expect才是期待喔~
然後expect是動詞 前面不用are
同一行後面There are some reasons why we feel joyful in this special holiday.
是on不是in喔
第四行 Due to the custom everyone should have a reunion in this special day. 一樣是on不是in
第五行Second, we can travel during these wonderful holiday 和後面的 which provide by theme parks during those days
前面不是單數嗎? 這邊變成複數了...單複數要一致喔XDD
Chinese New Year is the most important holiday to Chinese people. 對誰來說很重要是用for喔
回覆刪除然後我建議這句There are some reasons why we feel joyful in this special holiday.可以把後面改成in such a special holiday.
we can meet all of our family members on the big dinner 這句語意有點好笑XD
宜改成珍儀說的那樣~
Due to the custom everyone should have a reunion in this special day.我建議custom後面可以多加一個逗點會較順喔!
然後如果前面改成such a special holiday的話這句就不會跟前面重複到了
which provide by theme parks during those days
要改成which is provided喔
然後我建議we can get some blessing from our elderly family members which can bless us for a whole year.這句的其中一個bless可以換成另外一個詞就不會重複了
we can take a break and relax from our busy days.這句沒有relex from的用法喔
可以改成keep out of busy days之類的
Everyone in my country are except for
回覆刪除except是例外的意思喔 expect
look forward to比較好喔:D
Due to the custom 加逗號!
in this special day // in→on
我覺得你可以多增加"你自己"為什麼喜歡這個節日
Chinese New Year is the most important holiday to Chinese people=>to 可以改成for
回覆刪除Everyone in my country are except for this holiday=>except改成really looking forward to比較好喔~
First, we can meet all of our family members on the big dinner which celebrates this holiday=>big dinner可以改成reunion dinner or meal~
we can travel during these wonderful holiday because there are a lot of benefits which provide by theme parks during those days. =>holiday(s)
Then, we can take a break and relax from our busy days=>relax~days改成 get away from the busy days
我覺得寫的還滿通順的喔~
有進步喔~很棒~~~~^^
→第二行are except → expect
回覆刪除你都沒說你喜歡這個節日欸只說他對中國人很重要唷＠＠！！！
day要用On唷!
Due to 那句沒逗號欸
→Second, we can go outside during this wonderful holiday because there are a lot of benefits provide by some theme parks.
我覺得這篇文章很順很豐富欸~ 寫的很好耶~!!