2011年5月18日 星期三
contrasting2
Our university is hiring a new English instructor for the school this year. After we issued this notice, we get two resumes from two eligible people for this job. After think twice, we decide to hire Debra Fines. There are some points, why we decided to hire her. First of all, Debra has more education than Lynn. Those experience can help her to teach more professional knowledge for our students. Besides, Debra has variety employment experience, while Lynn doesn't. Those experience may help her to show how professional she is. Moreover, Debra has some publication, but Lynn doesn't. That she can help our students to improve their writing abilities. The last but not the least, unlike Lynn, Debra is good at swimming. That we can ask her as a coach to train our school team to get awards. Although Lynn is a good teacher, we think Debra is more suitable to this position. The final decision will publish after we discuss in the meeting.
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哇! 我好喜歡你這一篇!!
回覆刪除內容構思很順很好~~
美中不足,Debra is good at swimming. 這件事跟要hire an English instructor一點關係都沒有唷~
我覺得不要放比較好~
The final decision will publish after we discuss in the meeting
回覆刪除這句用publish好像怪怪的?
然後其實help後接原v的用法比較多喔~當然加to也可以啦
然後你的文章進步好多,很吸引人往下看呢,很生動喔!!
第五航can help her to teach more professional knowledge for our students
回覆刪除--> can help her teach more professional knowledge to our students
第七行 experience加S
some publication--> a publication
最後一行 publish--> declare我覺得比較好
整篇結構完整呢 讚喔!!
After think twice
回覆刪除-->After thinking twice
There are some points, why we decided to hire her.
-->前面的decide式現在是,這裡又是過去式,要決定一下~統一唷
Those experience can help her ~
-->Those experiences can help her ~
The final decision will publish after we discuss in the meeting
-->The final decision will be publish after we discuss in the meeting
我覺得還不錯呢~愈來愈好~
小細節還是要注意喔~繼續加油吧~
Besides, Debra has variety employment experience
-->Besides, Debra has various employment experience
倒數第四行Debra is good at swimming. That we can ask her as a coach to train our school team to get awards
回覆刪除擅長游泳這句可以不用寫 因為他跟這份工作無關
其他的還不錯XDD
After think twice, we decide to hire Debra Fines.(~thinking twice,)
回覆刪除There are some points, why we decided to hire her.(~points to tell you why we~)
Those experience can help her to teach more professional knowledge for our students.(~experiences can help her teach ~to our~)
That she can help our students to improve their writing abilities.(~that her special skill can~)
That we can ask her as a coach to train our school team to get awards.(From the above,we can~)