2011年5月18日 星期三
contrasting1
It's a new begin for my friend and me to become the freshman in the university. Thought it's a good news for us to begin our new life, it also involves some problems for us to search a new house. Therefore, we search on the Net and find two apartments which are both near our campus. In addition, we make some contrast below. First of all, Fairfax Apartments has 2 large bedroom for each of us to use. However, CAMPUS APTS only has 1 bedroom. Moreover, Fairfax Apartments has air condition and all the furnish, while CAMPUS APTS doesn't include those benefits. Besides, Fairfax Apartments doesn't allow to keep pets. On the other hand, CAMPUS APTS is pets allowed. Unlike Fairfax Apartments, CAMPUS APTS is available immediately. The last but not the least, Fairfax Apartments' rent is 1250 dollars per a month and involves all utilities. In contrast, CAMPUS APTS' rent is 900 dollars each month but needs to plus utilities. There are a lot of merits for us to decide which one is more suitable for us. We'll make the decision after we think twice.
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It's a new begin for my friend and me to become the freshman in the university.
回覆刪除--> 這句我覺得怪怪的欸 new begin 和freshman可以擇一就好
第七行all the furnish--> furnish是動詞喔!
第八行 benefits-->equipments 畢竟上述都是五品不是什麼利益
Fairfax Apartments' rent is
--> the rent of Fairfax Apartment
CAMPUS APTS' rent --> the rent of CAMPUS APTS
倒數第二行but needs to plus utilities 我覺得怪怪的
puls--> involve
There are a lot of merits for us to decide which one is more suitable for us.
這句挺怪的((對我們而言這裡有許多價值/優點去決定哪個是比較適合我們的)
有些地方語意表達較不清楚要小心喔:D
倒數第四行 per a month 不用加a
回覆刪除倒數第二行There are a lot of merits for us to decide which one is more suitable for us.
merits?? 用這個字怪怪的
其他的還ok
The last but not the least, Fairfax Apartments' rent is 1250 dollars per a month and involves all utilities(Last but not the least~才對喔=))
回覆刪除恩~列點是都還ok~
只是感覺稍微有些雜亂~
下次在寫之前先整理一下會更好喔^^