2011年4月6日 星期三

Describing a Process-(4)-How to plan a trip

    Taking a trip can make your life become more colorful. Nevertheless how to plan a trip is important for you to feel relax during the trip. First, you have to decide your distination and try to find some information about this place.  A good place will affect your mood during the trip. Secend, you can choose your transportation and buy some tickets. Try to consider about price and convenience. Besides, don't forget to reservate hotal. Then, you should pack your bag and bring enough money with you. Finally, keep a good mood and try to photo some good pictures. After follow those tips, you will have a good travel experience that you never have.

7 則留言:

  1. Nevertheless how to plan a trip is important for you to feel relax during the trip.
    → Nevertheless, planning a trip is important for you to relax during the trip.

    第四行 try to 怪怪的
    第五行 reservate hotal→ reserve hotel
    第六行 pack your bag → pack luggage

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  2. 第五行的Try to consider about price and convenience 用prices比較好XD

    然後 Besides, don't forget to reservate hotal.
    是reserve

    最後一行的After follow those tips 是following喔

    其他的就ok了 文章還滿流暢的耶

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  3. 我覺得開頭兩句怪怪唷~

    是我跟賣摳說是reserve 唷~ 是我找的唷~~~~~~
    哈哈哈~

    倒數二應為After the following tips...

    最後應為that you have never had.

    其他應大致可以,不過內容可以再充實一點不夠詳細,但是終點都有出來唷。

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  4. distination 是destination喔

    Besides, don't forget to reservate hotal.
    是reserve rooms at a hotel

    結尾that you never have改成that you have never had

    用字盡量不要重複可以找同義字
    多用一些不同的句型看起來會更棒

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  5. 第一行的Nevertheless是副詞 後面要有逗號喔

    第三行不適合用find搭配information喔
    你可以說 try to get the specific information (得到明確的資訊)
    或是 collect relative information (收集相關資訊)

    hotel拼錯了@@

    倒數第二行的photo很奇怪
    你可以說take some pictures

    然後不是those tips喔
    要用these


    你的first second等等條列出大鋼後
    後面都有再提出原因
    像是
    A good place will affect your mood
    這些support你的論點的方法
    我覺得你用的很好喔
    有進步~加油^^

    節尾也寫的不錯:D

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  6. Taking a trip can make your life become more colorful=>become我覺得可以不用,感覺有點多餘

    A good place will affect your mood during the trip."影響"我覺得可以改成will lead you to a good temper

    Try to consider about price and convenience. =>你應該是想說要"比較"吧,用compare 比較好喔!

    每個論點我覺得都不錯喔但如果可以再稍微詳細一點就好了^^

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  7. you should pack your bag and bring enough money with you.
    →這句感覺怪怪的~
    pack your bag certain

    keep a good mood and try to photo some good pictures
    →覺得可以變成
    bring a happy mind and take some great pictures

    可以多舉例或更詳盡的說明~
    不錯喔~

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