2011年6月1日 星期三
discussing cause-2
Buying a new house is the dream for everyone in the world. However, it's not easy for us to buy a house on our own. First of all, we don't have enough cash to buy a house that is why we have to borrow some money from the bank or friends. But it may increase our financial burden when we pay the interest in the high interest rate. Besides, the location of the house is impotent about the appreciation in the future. But the analyze for the appreciation is difficult for us to do. The last but not the least, the security and the neighborhood is the main problem for us to think. In addition, we should investigate about it before we buy it. To sum up, we should ask some specialist for advice and think twice we decide to buy the house.
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張貼留言 (Atom)
But the analyze for the appreciation is difficult for us to do.
回覆刪除-> But it is difficult for us to predict whether it appreciates or not.
倒數第三 investigate it
-> In addition, we should evaluate it cautiously before we make a dicision.
結構沒什麼問題,連接詞可以多多運用
不過這篇怪怪的欸 這篇不是要寫你已經做了這個決定 而什麼"原因"使你做了這個決定的
也就是說你選擇 buy a house的話 你應該要寫說 你買房子的原因是什麼吧?!
Buying a new house is the dream for everyone in the world.
回覆刪除(~the dream “of”~)
Besides, the location of the house is impotent about the appreciation in the future.
(~is important because of the~)
But the analyze(v) for the appreciation is difficult for us to do.
(~the analysis(n) ~)
The last but not the least, the security and the neighborhood is the main problem for us to think.
(~the security and the neighborhood “are”~)
In addition, we should investigate about it before we buy it.
(investigate(不加about) them ~)
To sum up, we should ask some specialist for advice and think twice we decide to buy the house.
(~some specialist(S) for advice(s) and think twice (if) we decide to buy the house.)
列點方面還可以~只是如果能再加一點新意會更好喔=))
important
回覆刪除你好像寫錯囉＠＠
要寫你為什麼做出了某個重大原因
侕你卻寫了買房子要注意的事情＠＠？！
第二行的cash是指現金 買房子的金額那麼高 不會有人帶現金去交易吧...換成money比較好
回覆刪除The last but not 應該是要放到最後才寫
最後一句 ...and think twice we decide to buy the house
twice後面少了before
~buy a house that is why we ~
回覆刪除-->~buy a house and that's why we ~
impotent --> important
in the high interest rate--> at the high interest rate.
analyze-->analysis
the security and the neighborhood is the main problem--> the security and the neighborhood are the main problems
investigate可直接加受詞或是加into
investigate about it -->investigate it
some specialist for advice and think twice we decide to buy the house.
--> some specialists for advice and think twice before we decide to buy the house.
最後一點不是原因唷~小心離題
banks
回覆刪除But the analyze for the appreciation is difficult for us to do.
這裡用for好像怪怪的
你可以直接用評論的動詞~
然後這篇的重點你好像搞錯了唷
可能要重打一篇嚕><
我建議that is why ~獨立分成一行唷~
回覆刪除然後面怎麼有點離題了呢~O__O
列點算清楚
回覆刪除但是文章到後面怪怪的
還有!
你的important是不是寫錯!! :>