2011年6月9日 星期四

discussing effects-1

  In my opinion, I doesn’ t support to open a large factory in Action. I think this small town should keep its natural resource. First of all, they could evolve tourism instead of destroying its natural views. Besides, if you built a large factory in this town, it will cause a lot of pollution such as air pollution and water pollution. Moreover, with the increase of the population, the quality of life will getting worse than before. Furthermore, the environment will change and the industrial waste will make the inhabitants get some diseases. Due to those reasons, I think we shouldn' t open a large factory in such clean and quiet place. All we could do is to choose another industrial zone to construct this factory.
        
張貼者： 於

8 則留言:

  1. 靖苡2011年6月15日 晚上11:54

    六than ever會不會比較好~

    Due to those reasons(改成effects比較切題唷:D)


    還不錯，可以更好~

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  2. 椿茱2011年6月15日 晚上11:57

    前面可以增加點前提 有些突然喔!
    Besides, if you built a large factory in this town~ // Besides, if there would built a large factory in this town

    我覺得你這篇真的打的不錯欸!! ((發自內心~~
    不過 結論句可以改一下呢 把工廠蓋在其他的地方這樣的結果似乎不太好喔x)

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  3. 曉芸2011年6月16日 清晨6:55

    I doesn’ t support to open a large factory in Action=>support後面沒有再加to~可以改成agree
    Furthermore, ~get some diseases=>~suffer from terrible diseases

    All we could do is to choose another industrial zone to construct this factory.=>這一句話放在結尾有點怪~"我們能做的只有"語意不太對~如果是"To be complete in both respects,we should~(最能兩全其美的方法是~)

    這一篇我覺得很不錯呢~
    看的時候覺得很輕鬆~
    也不會有文法紊亂的感覺~
    great!!!!!!!

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  4. 佳穎2011年6月16日 上午9:54

    I doesn’ t support to open a large factory in Action. -->don't

    the quality of life will getting worse than before.-->the quality of life will get worse than before
    然後可以加些支持句來豐富文章~

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  5. 爾雅2011年6月16日 晚上7:21

    第一行 I doesn’ t support to open a large factory in Action. 是don't

    其他的還不錯 如果他的影響再寫多一點的話會更好~

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  6. 玲儀2011年6月16日 晚上7:30

    In my opinion, I doesn’ t support to open a large factory in Action.
    >>>In my opinion, I don't ~

    列點算清楚
    篇幅可以噌加

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  7. 珍儀2011年6月16日 晚上8:04

    I doesn’ t support -->I don’ t support

    will getting worse -->will get worse

    I think we shouldn' t open a large factory in such clean and quiet place.
    這裡不是用we喔~因為那是**公司要蓋的 不是我們
    --> I think it's inappropriate to open a large factory in such a clean and quiet place.

    感覺可以在多些支持的論點

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  8. XUAN (13)2011年6月16日 晚上8:18

    I doesn’t support to open a large factory in Action.
    >>I don't support to build a large factory in Action.

    if you built >> if you build

    will getting worse >> will get worse

    一些文法的錯誤~要注意唷

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